I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have post one night stand depression
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
