The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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