would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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