Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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