i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize