I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
