She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
