haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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