First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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