I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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