Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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