so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just googled if crying burns calories
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
