The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
