i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
