Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
