you win again, gameday.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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