respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
