im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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