What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
