Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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