we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
