ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
