i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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