I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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