smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
