we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
