? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Go christen that room with your naked body.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
