The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
