Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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