what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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