I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
