Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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