my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
