question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
