I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it penis luge time yet?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
