She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
