then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
