So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
