I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm passing your future prison.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
