ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
