K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
