he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
