Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
