You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
