Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
