New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
