Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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