So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
