Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will be naked everywhere
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
