Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
