How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
