I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
